Who Will Advocate for our Children?

Who will advocate for our children?  My daughter was crying last night, not wanting to go back to school.  She said, “I’m so tired of being made fun of and bullied.  I’ve dealt with this for four years here.” I tried talking her through it and then she said, “When someone else is being mistreated or bullied, I go and stand up for them.  I tell the bullies to leave them alone. I report it to a teacher. I need someone like that for me.  I don’t have anyone.  I walk in the hall by myself everyday.  The friend I thought I had has betrayed me and is making things even harder for me at school.  I’m tired of it, Mom.”

As my heart broke, I got a revelation.  Why in the world do we make our children suffer day in and day out for years with things we would never stand for ourselves as adults?  If someone was following me around, constantly calling me names, threatening to beat me up because I was a Christian, spreading slander that I was pregnant when in fact I was pure, pushing me against a locker, looking me up and down and calling me sexual names, being inappropriately touched by someone who was an authority, I would call the police.  Yet, my daughters have both suffered with this with no one advocating for them. 

If someone was pushing my husband around, calling him names, and in anger, pulling his finger all the way back until his hand broke, he would call the police.  Yet, my son has suffered with this with no one advocating for him.

If an African American man was called racial names in the workplace, the person responsible for that would be fired and even sued. Yet my son has suffered with this with no one advocating for him.

What is wrong with this picture?  As adults, who carry higher coping skills and maturity, have avenues out of situations and choices to change our circumstances, would not tolerate this kind of behavior, why in the world do we put our kids in these scenarios day in and day out with no one to advocate for them?  They are trapped in this daily torture.  Teachers are overworked and stripped of authority, principals seem either complacent or unwilling to hand out consequences, and administrators turn a blind eye to the truth of what bullying does to a child.  Despite recent media attention on the subject with a poor girl hanging herself for this very reason and less recent media portraying boys so tired of bullies they kill, authority figures refuse to truly advocate for these children.  Bullying assemblies and programming mean nothing if action is absent and consequences are light. Much of what these bullies do is against the law, yet daily it is swept under the rug and parents’ calls are dismissed.

The last thing we, as this great community want is to be hit with a tragedy in our schools. We don’t pretend to know the very difficult dynamics of being a teacher, a principal or an administrator.  We understand these are difficult days to be in such a position.  Educators are overworked, under paid, and definitely under appreciated.  Without a doubt, these issues begin within the home, inside the responsibility of parenting.  We applaud the many precious educators that our children adore so much and require our children to frequently give thank you letters to their teachers. However, something more must be done.  If not, we will make the decision to home school.  This would not be ideal for our children in many ways.  They miss out on the opportunities of band and choir, sports and the deep relationships they have formed with many of their teachers.  However, being mistreated daily is not an option for our children any longer.  Our children are far from perfect, but are bright and gifted, love God and others.   We will not jeopardize those qualities in exchange.  We have this option of taking our children out of this setting, but many do not.  My children come home with story after story of other children being bullied and they have no escape. This has gone way beyond “kids will be kids”.  This is mental, emotional, and physical abuse.  Clearly, the church, the community, and the school system need to come together on this issue. Who will advocate for our children?